I know it's getting into winter in the northern hemi, but this stuff's pretty quissmassy- go buy some frozen gooseberries if necessary. And aren't they draping Spain in polythene specifically so you can buy shit out of season? Tuh!
Below are the very weedy and completely neglected bushes from which we will wrest today's materials. Note the horrible fucking thorns. I'm wearing gloves, but there will be blood.
If you're in a hurry/already know how to make jam, scroll past the pastoral shiz for the recipe.
Half an hour and a lot of profanity later, we've got enough for jam, but you've probably just gone to the shops and bought some like a normal person. I've thrown in some blackcurrants from the bushes behind the gooseberries in an effort the turn the results a nice rosy pink. You really don't need to do this. The two fruits are very closely-related members of the Ribes fam, hence their affinity. One just tastes a wee bit greener than the other.
- At least 500g of gooseberries. Any less is bound to burn before it jams. Ripeness isn't critical.
- Around the same weight of plain white sugar as you have fruit. A little less is fine.
- A handful + of blackcurrants for colour if you have some. Completely unnecessary, though.
- One big lemon
- The biggest stainless pot you've got.
- 3-8 sterilized regular sized jars with tight-fitting lids. Chutney/jam/relish jars will do fine.
- A jam funnel. Or a stainless ladle. Both is ideal.
(Worried about making jam? Here's a few words of timely advice.)
Enough to stop it sticking to the bottom, basically. The amount isn't crucial, but the more water you add, the longer the jam will take to firm up.
Bring the fruit to the boil and simmer until it's squishable with a spoon, then remove from heat. Juice your lemon and add the results to the pot along with the sugar.
Unless you boil the shit out of it or add commercial pectin (don't do that), gooseberry jam made with ripe fruit might not 'set' to a totally stiff, rubbery consistency; it doesn't matter- anything from a thick sauce to a wobbly jelly is fine, so don't panic if you can't plant a flag in your experimental drips. It all tastes the same and lasts just as well.
^ The stodgy texture of hot basaltic lava is what you're looking for. You'll be boiling it anything from 10 to 20 mins. Keep dropping it on a cold plate or benchtop until you get a satisfying blobbiness when you poke at it.
It will set further in the glass as it cools, so don't be too fussy. Fill your biggest jars first, then work down to the smaller ones; if you have an awkward amount left over, just refrigerate in a bowl and eat it first.
S T I L L B O R E D ? M O R E K I T C H E N B I T C H R E C I P E S HERE