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C E I L I  (It's Kelly, actually.  I use the stupid pseud for obvious internet reasons)
Born New Zealand, extracted to Australia, educated, released under own recognizance.
Settled in Port Chalmers, New Zealand.
Partner, pets,  garden.
Travelled, saw what you did there.
No fucking social media.

W H Y  N O  C O M M E N T S, FFS ?   I would really like you to be able to, but we've all seen the gross mushroomy shit that happens when no one mods.  I get mental herpes just seeing that bollocks everywhere else and refuse to spend my precious remaining time scrubbing neckbeard emissions from my own website.

F U L L  D I S C L O S U R E   I'm not anyone in particular.  I am an amateur blogger, don't front for any sinister corporate or data-gathering commercial concern and aren't here to sell you anything (unless I am, and then I'll tell you that.)  I do not harvest, retain, sell or share your data and barely look at my own site stats; if Google or Weebly are doing that or using my site to advertise, it's beyond my control and I certainly do not benefit personally.  We use Adblocker and recommend you do too.  

​I post my own personal views for the purposes of self-expression and Creative Commons sharing, not for profit.  We are poor, sad people.
S Y M P A T H I E S  +  I N T E R E S T S  the arts, environmentalism, feminism, sex, social justice, resource equity, self determination, cultural expression, history, ethnographic art, textiles, strange plants, strange people.  Profanity.  Lipstick.  Interpol and Joy Division.  Horses.  Winning arguments not with the sheer force of my personality but with my inherent grasp of truth.  Sarcasm.  Night.  Sitting down.  Smoking cannabis while sitting down.  Shininess.  Cake.  Italics.  Contextual sadism.  A nice big D. 
A N T I P A T H I E S  Hate has made me powerful.  I specialise in reviling: People.  Corporate chicanery.  Having to say chicanery because I feel like I've said fuckery too often this month.  People who say trope and parse more than twice a year.  Ironic tattoos.  Recent innovations in communication technology.  Fucking hashtags.  Powered flight.  Team sports, organized religion.  Uniforms.  Washing dishes.  Methamphetamines.  Basal rot. 

W H Y  I S  A L L  T H I S  L I K E  T H I S ?  Because I don't want to have to pretend to be smooth and go to openings and say trope and wear glasses even though my eyes were perfectly alright for anyone to look at what I do.  I don't want to tone it down or make it more commercial either.  When you're an independent artist the world can make you feel like you've been sent home for biting, so all this is celebratory absenteeism.  
Storiated deviation.  A fancy kennel for my big word dogs.  A kennel with a guest wing.   
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​R U L L I N G  P R E C E P T  When the pants come off, look the fuck out.  Yes I stole that from Randy.
A L L   C O N T E N T   O U R   O W N   U N L E S S   S P E C I F I E D
While we wish we had authored this gif, it is something random plucked from the internet.  We regularly reblog from various places because we enjoyed/respected that particular piece.  We derive no monetary benefit from doing so because no one fucking pays us for anything, ever.  

All reblogged items are linked and credited where humanly possible.  We respect your autonomy and if you prefer not to see your work here, please contact us and we will withdraw it asap. 
G E N E R A L   R E V I E W   P O L I C Y  Everything I've reviewed has been my own purchase.  If you are keen to have something reviewed, please be aware of the following stipulations; that I am bound to declare when product has been submitted for consideration by the supplier, and to publish an honest opinion of it.  I am keen to help other women gain exposure and encouragement for their endeavours.  I'm happy to return any item you might like me to discuss but can't really afford to give away.  If you're concerned about my likely response to your item, please peruse my previous reviews to get a handle on the kind of stuff that interests me.  I do have broad tastes so don't be shy.  I don't ask payment for reviews.
H O S T I L E   W I T N E S S   F I L M   R E V I E W   
C L E A N S K I N   P O L I C Y  I'm not an astroturfer.  I have no association with anyone in film, not that this would make a difference to my reviews anyway.  It's called how it's seen and that's it.  Everyone hates going to the movies with me because of my MOL (massive opinion load), so I just sit at home with chips and bitch in private.  Now you too can enjoy the incredible benefits of that.  Yes, I know most of those movies came out a while ago.  No, I'm not really into battling sweaty fanboys and their poorly-concealed erections at premiers, so I just watch things when I get round to it or reminisce about the vintage goodness.  

Like the sturdy catfish, I enjoy a healthy mix of bottom feeding crap and highbrow; that is what you'll find reviewed here.  I also tend to talk about the stuff I liked rather than kicking the shit out of something I hated.  Unless everyone is eulogizing a steaming backward pile for kickbacks- then I will break out the big gauge.  

In the public interest.
Thanks for looking at our work.  We do our best.
​If you take serious issue with something or would like to correct an inaccuracy, feel free to contact us.