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100 Hot Redheads- a pictorial.  Oh.  Hell.  Yes.  O_0

3/12/2014

 
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Sample: hot Spanish redheads.  Hot Spanish twin redheads.  No, don't thank me.

why are you still here?

GO THERE NOW.

Aloe speciosa, in flower.

2/12/2014

 
Aloe speciosa (literally, the beautiful Aloe) was the species that sparked my personal love for tree aloes.  I'm not entirely sure why they're my favourite group but it's probably the drama of their scale and often spectacular flowers.  They are a powerfully exotic presence in any garden and it can be a surprise to learn that they can be amongst the easiest to grow of all this varied and sometimes difficult group of plants.  At least that is my experience, and I live at the edge of outdoor climatic viability.  

Speciosa hails from rocky slopes on the West and Eastern Cape regions of South Africa, where it occurs at moderate altitude of up to 800m, according to Aloes The Definitive Guide (Kew).  The climate in this region is variable but generally drier and a little warmer than here on the coast of Otago in NZ, though we share a Mediterranean pattern.  

I've grown this species outside and unprotected for about eight years now, with this specimen > being the largest of a trio in my front rockery at around 1.4m tall, at which height it has flowered for the first time.  It receives winter rain, hail, snow and the occasional frost, although the ground never freezes here.
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BELOW  The leaves are tightly spaced along the stem and bear this diagnostic internode pin striping.  

They dry down to form a straggly skirting that possibly protects the trunk from weather extremes, although it also provides the snails and slugs that like to munch the surface of the leaves with a convenient diurnal hideout. 
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< This species is also known at the Tilt (or Tilt-head) Aloe because its heavy blue rosette grows at a rather emphatic 45º angle to the stem and seems to insist on pointing due north, no matter where it is planted.  That is certainly true in our location; I wonder if the orientation is reversed in the northern hemisphere.  

The basic colour of the gracefully-curving, soft-spines leaves is bright medium green but this is converted to a particularly attractive turquoise blue by a waxy glaucous coating that seems to protect speciosa from much of the fungal spotting that can afflict aloes in humid climates.  Both this and its aforementioned tilt also protects it from being damaged by the worst of the hail and snow that comes zinging out of the south in southern latitudes.
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If molluscs are a problem in your area, you might want to either thin the skirt enough to allow birds to predate anything lurking inside it, or remove the dead leaves altogether.

Aloe speciosa seems a tough and pretty forgiving plant despite its soft leaves and luxurious demeanour.  We had a bad freeze (down to around -5º) here in 07 which resulted in superficial leaf damage but recovery was rapid and complete.  I planted my smallest in a too-dark hole in unsuitable claggy soil which resulted in root loss and toppling during a particularly wet winter; that specimen barely skipped a beat, developed strong new feeder roots and I've since replanted it elsewhere.  
It is perfectly happy in a large container though if you can get away with it climatically, I do recommend planting all tree aloes out in raised beds for maximum growth and vigour.  Speciosa is supposed to attain 6m in southern Africa.  In the short time they've been cultivated in NZ quite a few have got up to around 3 m, so we may well see some monster examples in the next decade.  It confers its beauty, flower size and tenacity when hybridised with fussier species (forming spectacular crosses with marlothii etc) and I grow a number of speciosa-x-? that have yet to blossom.
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We recorded the emergence of the first flower in some detail, lol.  As you can see, it ripens to a candy pink and then turns a lovely creamy ivory from the base as the individual florets open up and reveal their saffron pollen.  This is the first time I've noticed pink stippling on the lower flowers but it's hardly something to complain about.  If you're keen to try a tree aloe, start with speciosa.  They're usually quite readily available, possibly the hardiest variety in a winter-rain area and certainly beautiful enough to warrant the space in your garden.
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Monday, Summer, David Byrne

1/12/2014

 
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1st day of Summer down here.  Feels like the arse end of winter still with all the hail and stupid, stupid rainy wind fucking up my Souvenir de la Malmaison.  I've had one shitty flower off it.  One.  
Oh well.  Louise Odier is hitting her straps and tis a pity there's no smellovision. >> >

Reading the Book installments?  I hated dealing out any kind of physical misfortune to Susan when I began writing TBO because she seemed so defenceless compared to everyone else, but then she morphed into a scrappy little juggernaut who would attract exactly the same kind of grief her contemporaries have been fending off forever.  So now she catches a lot of shit, especially in the second book where sh... never mind.  That would be telling.

I suppose a lot of us will be heading into an xmas break soon.  The Lovely R is counting down the days.  We're staying home again, something which tends to make some people uncomfortable for some obscure reason; maybe we missed the mandatory trip away directive.  

What happens if you don't go away?  Do TripAdvisor nazis come round, rip that dusty suitcase out from under your bed and stuff it full of just the knickers that ride up your arse + the shirts that cut into your armpit fat before booking you into a family-friendly camping ground in a treeless berth right beside the toilet block that plays a tinny loop of Elton John's back catalogue and acts as a vector for explosive dysentery?  For a month?  

We look at staying home like this- aside from not being able to afford to go anywhere worthwhile (we have strict criteria), we put in a lot of work all year to make our place nice over summer.  Xmas is in summer here so... why depart just as all that fucking effort pays off?  Puffing on a fatty in a nice bit of shade in the rose garden with some smoked mussels and sour cream and chives chips and a bowl of pistachios and maybe some white Lindt is ten thousand kinds of awesome, totally the spirit of xmas and is in no way location-dependant.  So consider staying and appreciating where you are over the holidays.  Unless of course you're somewhere shitty- then you should definitely monopolise someone else's spare room for two weeks.  Just do your share of the dishes and tell them that leafy half-ounce was all you could score on short notice :)

BELOW  Remember music videos?  This is the only version I could find for this song and they cut the best bloody lines, the chickenhearted fahdoobiddahs!  


My inner fourteen year old slash love of truth and beauty compels me to inform you that at the end of the last verse it goes...  I miss America, and sometimes she does too / sometimes I think of her when she is fucking you. 

See?  I complete you.  It's my life's work.

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