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Monday slash Tuesday slash Felix + Gratitude

12/9/2017

 
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Roll your eyes at this orgy of gratitude for our dog's survival all you like.  I don't mind.  Cancer sucks donkey dick no matter which part of your circle it's afflicting, and any win is something to be treasured.  A lot of you will already know what I mean and I'm sorry about that.

Felix had a rare and aggressive stage 3 tumour (not osteosarcoma) that I won't name for fear of invoking that sneaky bitch.  Yes I am that fucking superstitious about it at the moment, hence no write up.  I will get to it when we've had a few clear screenings.
There is a chance that molecular-level metastatic junk might be floating around but he is manifesting as a healthy, happy dog, so we're going with that outlook for the moment.  Living in the precious now.

Of course, Felix is tripodal as a result of excising that dirty fucking mutant thing that was munching up his thigh musculature. Taking the whole leg is standard even with smaller growths because stumps are generally nothing more than recurrence and injury just waiting to happen.  
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Felix has always been a beautiful dog with elegant proportions which amplified the already janky dissonance between the necessity of the procedure and the potential psychosomatic fallout (for everyone involved).  If that sounds like vanity, it really isn't; all animals rejoice in the power and efficacy of their own symmetry and taking that away from another beast is no small consideration.  Taking him in to the clinic on the day of the operation was one of the hardest things I've had to do.  It goes without saying that seeing him in a piteous daze on a mass of blankets in his vet cage post-op was a horrible, chest-crunching impact, and I didn't consider myself squeamish.  But Alison at Humanimals Dunedin did a thorough, careful job of this awkward, late-stage procedure and the result is neat and utile, for which we are very thankful.  Thanks also to our friends who ferried us back and forth from the vets, and to everyone who gave a shit and wished him luck.

This pathology was able to sneak up on two relatively well-informed people who were very engaged with their dog, so don't be like us and dismiss the warning signs I will enumerate in a forthcoming post.  Seek a medical opinion of any change to your animal's condition that persists for more than a week.  Just fucking do it.  We didn't, and all of us paid for that dismissive attitude, especially Felix.  We feel a lot of shame and anger at ourselves for that.

To anyone trying to decide between subjecting their furred friend to such a major procedure vs euthanasia- don't let your own negative presumptions get in the way of a good decision.  Keep your head where it needs to be- in your knowledge and best interests of your animal instead of buried up the arse of your own speculative fears.  Sometimes you have to let your friend go because it is best for them.  Sometimes they aren't a good candidate for a change in their physical status and you must weigh the pros and cons.  Felix is intensely physical, lives for his motility and we were deeply concerned about his post-quadrupedal morale.  Would his new condition be enough for him?  

We hoped yes, and I think that was a good decision.  All of these images, bar one, are of Felix after losing a leg.  Within two weeks of losing that leg.  I know not every dog will (literally) bounce into their new state like he has, and he's not out of the woods by any means.  But he really is a happy little fellow, far happier to be pain-free than trapped in some malfunctioning idea of 'entirety'.  Our fears are not their fears.

​His joy is our solace.  Long live Foofie.
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