Hazelnuts. Or Filberts. Whatever. Filberts sound like something that gets bullied for wearing thick glasses and masturbates with the aid of midpriced underwear catalogues, so I'll stick with hazelnut. Reading about hazelnuts in Wikipedia referred me to a list of organic fats and oils, which prompted me to investigate whale blubber. Which as it turns out tastes like arrowroot biscuit. Do you believe that? I'm not sure that I do. Most cetaceans eat krill and I know from personal experience that krill tastes like prawn cocktail (after being briefly parboiled) and that dolphin breath smells like five day old fish. So suspicions remain. However; my father told me that human flesh really does taste like pork and he had this on excellent authority from several of the old hill tribe head-hunting reprobates he encountered whilst working as a mechanic in PNG. Cheers, dad.
Sometimes you just have to take peoples' word for it. Check out the photoessays I did a while back using the pretty amazing pics he took there with his shitty old camera in the sixties. The Lovely R remastered them and they're worth a look. Part one here. Part two here.
Sometimes you just have to take peoples' word for it. Check out the photoessays I did a while back using the pretty amazing pics he took there with his shitty old camera in the sixties. The Lovely R remastered them and they're worth a look. Part one here. Part two here.
 | Anyway. We bought a fuck tonne of fresh hazelnuts from a local seller online; they are huge and delicious. It's quite strange to eat non-rancid nuts and the experience always reminds just how gross most of the shit from the supermarket really is. In other riveting food-related news, we've also discovered some fucking awesome Iranian boxed dates from an Indian grocer which are $12 a kilo as opposed to around $40 for medjools, which has always annoyed the shit out of me. |
They are mazafati dates from Fars, and, quoting directly from the ebullient Datefruit.ir description, the mazafati 'is used as rotab and no one feels bad after eating the Date!' That date-crazed Persian copywriter wasn't lying. According to Datefruit, they're also good for 'pregnancy womens' and 'there are different Date's fruits in the worldwide but Iranian Date fruit is considered one of the world's most best and famous dried fruits. All of Iranian Date fruit has taste, smell and excellent fragrance and uses them in different medical consumptions, delicious and funny foods and drinks. We will mention good contents about this matter for you.'
I shouldn't really be taking the piss out of Iranian date exporters because we love their work, I can't speak any Farsi at all and quite frankly Persians have suffered enough bullshit to last twenty average lifetimes. Everyone thinks they're Arabs, for a start, which is like calling a New Zealander Australian; I recommend the quite cool Guardian piece on contemporary Iran- Sanctions, Western Misunderstandings and Religion: 100 Iranians Share their Views. Life under a retarded theocracy sucks arse, in case you were wondering, but some hope still springs. Western culture owes so much to Persia's vast intellectual heritage that Iran's pariah status is a tragedy for everyone.
Fucking organised religion, man.
I shouldn't really be taking the piss out of Iranian date exporters because we love their work, I can't speak any Farsi at all and quite frankly Persians have suffered enough bullshit to last twenty average lifetimes. Everyone thinks they're Arabs, for a start, which is like calling a New Zealander Australian; I recommend the quite cool Guardian piece on contemporary Iran- Sanctions, Western Misunderstandings and Religion: 100 Iranians Share their Views. Life under a retarded theocracy sucks arse, in case you were wondering, but some hope still springs. Western culture owes so much to Persia's vast intellectual heritage that Iran's pariah status is a tragedy for everyone.
Fucking organised religion, man.
| Do you ever urge other people to do quite radical things to themselves out of boredom and/or totally idle curiosity? Intoxicating, isn't it? I goaded the Lovely R into shaving off his beard and moustache for the first time in about ten years at 1.30 am the other night, and after a few days of staring hard and letting my eyes go out of focus and poking the result, I'm still not sure how I feel about it. He's less of a man but not more of a woman. I think I want the beard back. |  |
This monday slash tuesday bulletin is brought to you by the power of Robocop (original version) which we are about to watch, also for the first time in too many years.
Please put down the weapon. You have twenty seconds to comply.
Please put down the weapon. You have twenty seconds to comply.
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