Stopping the tourist driver and confiscating the keys of their rental vehicle has been trending here in New Zealand of late, driven by a local media more than willing to conflate statistics and stoke xenophobia in their search for relevance. You probably won't hear about it overseas because hobbits, but yes, you read that first bit right and you should know about it if you're thinking of heading here on a driving holiday.
Is tourist ineptitude and arrogance really a thing? Fuck yes, and we've seen some horrific examples ourselves, but that same arrogant ineptitude is in evidence every. fucking. day. from local arseclowns. Our accident stats testify on their behalf.
We drive on the left. New Zealand's roads are narrow and often dangerously substandard with sparse, confusing signage, unposted surface changes and challenging topography. New Zealand drivers are an often unsophisticated and pretty passive-aggressive cohort seething with hostility toward cyclists, pedestrians, (our virtually nonexistent) public transport and anyone doing .5 of a click below the prevailing speed limit. Travel at anything less than 100 kph on the open road and in the minds of a scary percentage of your fellow vehicle operators you're a dangerously incompetent aged homosexual/female/Asian. Luckily you're surrounded by right-thinking bravehearts who'll manfully overtake you, on a blind corner if they have to, for the sake of freedom and personal responsibility. These same fuckwits corner and strand 'tourists' (almost always Asians in campervans or rental cars) for the kind of shit they perpetrate themselves and then declaim- so modestly and for the general good- on social media, to the edification of the renowned thinkers and ethicists so heavily represented on Facebook. Problem solved, one foreigner at a time.
But when it comes to shitty driving, New Zealanders need to sit down and shut the fuck up, because we're a bunch of half-competent pricks behind the wheel, too. Half-competent and racist, apparently.
That felt good. I love blogging. You can get that shit right off your chest and make a bunch of trolls sizzle. More people should try it :)
Speaking of trolls, here's some Pixies. I always felt like Frank was trolling the fuck out of everyone with this stuff and it made me mad at him at first. Buuuuut I got older and looser. Hey is one of my favourite things and gets sung against its will in the shower all the time (chaiiiined ch-a-aaaained cha-aaaaaay-ahaaaained chained) and it's one of the few bass parts I can play... well, not well, but um you know... at all.
Wish there was a video. The fan-made ones are shite.
Enjoy your week. No idea what I'll be posting but you'll be the first to know, boo.
Is tourist ineptitude and arrogance really a thing? Fuck yes, and we've seen some horrific examples ourselves, but that same arrogant ineptitude is in evidence every. fucking. day. from local arseclowns. Our accident stats testify on their behalf.
We drive on the left. New Zealand's roads are narrow and often dangerously substandard with sparse, confusing signage, unposted surface changes and challenging topography. New Zealand drivers are an often unsophisticated and pretty passive-aggressive cohort seething with hostility toward cyclists, pedestrians, (our virtually nonexistent) public transport and anyone doing .5 of a click below the prevailing speed limit. Travel at anything less than 100 kph on the open road and in the minds of a scary percentage of your fellow vehicle operators you're a dangerously incompetent aged homosexual/female/Asian. Luckily you're surrounded by right-thinking bravehearts who'll manfully overtake you, on a blind corner if they have to, for the sake of freedom and personal responsibility. These same fuckwits corner and strand 'tourists' (almost always Asians in campervans or rental cars) for the kind of shit they perpetrate themselves and then declaim- so modestly and for the general good- on social media, to the edification of the renowned thinkers and ethicists so heavily represented on Facebook. Problem solved, one foreigner at a time.
But when it comes to shitty driving, New Zealanders need to sit down and shut the fuck up, because we're a bunch of half-competent pricks behind the wheel, too. Half-competent and racist, apparently.
That felt good. I love blogging. You can get that shit right off your chest and make a bunch of trolls sizzle. More people should try it :)
Speaking of trolls, here's some Pixies. I always felt like Frank was trolling the fuck out of everyone with this stuff and it made me mad at him at first. Buuuuut I got older and looser. Hey is one of my favourite things and gets sung against its will in the shower all the time (chaiiiined ch-a-aaaained cha-aaaaaay-ahaaaained chained) and it's one of the few bass parts I can play... well, not well, but um you know... at all.
Wish there was a video. The fan-made ones are shite.
Enjoy your week. No idea what I'll be posting but you'll be the first to know, boo.
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