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Photoessay Lite: Idlehouse Firepit Action & Construction Advice

17/9/2018

 
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Fire: good.  That doesn't ever stop the Lovely R and I clashing over our respective fire-making stylings, though.  He never uses enough paper to get it going and that drives me ever deeper into insanity.  If you really, really want to fuck with a controlling person, adopt a gently dithering approach to pyrotechnicality.

Presses finger to lid to halt twitching.
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The last couple of weeks has seen a concerted effort around getting shit planted out before what already feels like an overly hot summer kicks in.  The new tiny house slash granny flat is finally finished-finished and we decided to down tools and have some fucking BBQ kebabs in the new patio area out the front.  No one wants to see roadkill-looking meat burning on a dirty old grill so we just ate them without smooshing the spectacle all over the internet; they were fucking delicious, though.

​Here's a first look inside the new place, which was pretty cute all lit up on a warm night.  There's a shower room, bed, kitchenette and little seating area; we'll post a full spread some time soon.  

​Generally, we're happy with the things we put in there.  I see people talking shit about the Ikea Maskros pendant > in reviews, calling it too dim at 40w LED max, but those dicks need to take their RayBans off.  Its luminous delicacy really works even in this restricted space and I feel as though it was one of my best decorating decisions.
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Despite all the good intentions bestowed on their creation, fire areas are rarely entirely successful and I'm glad I noticed that in advance.  We're happy with ours after a couple of test drives but we already had a terraced hillside to work with.  We can hear and see the ocean.  We're not overlooked by a thousand unsavoury neighbours.  The moon is usually visible.  So we can't snatch all the credit for our atmospherics.

Here's a few things to consider.  There's a mysterious seclusion-to-convenience ratio that will make or break your fire area.  Don't put it a mile away from the toilet/fridge/woodpile, or you won't use it.  Conversely, setting it too close to the house will kill its secret sexiness.  Also, you need it to be somehow surrounded in order to define the space; not necessarily walled, but meaningful physical demarcation is important.  A line of fancy pebbles will not achieve this.  The seating has to be slightly tight so the privilege of a decent berth around the flames is appreciated.  Nocturnal airflow at our place means the initial smoke is reliably ushered away downhill, but you need to think about that too- don't put yours in a dead air zone.  And last but not least... if your fire pit still looks and feels fucked despite your best efforts, it's because you cheaped out on the brazier, to within a 99% probability.  That central element is crucial.  I'm a stingey bitch who abhors those stupid overbuilt pizza oven/crematorium/half a fucking house-type installations beloved by sad outdoorsy wankers, but nothing looks cheesier than a shitty, budget, flimsy-arse brazier in an otherwise nice setting.  Stop looking for vintage bunting and artisanal tealight ephemeral bullshit.  Spend that extra hundy on something proper steel and handmade.

​And thusly our scant wisdom hath been imparteth.
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Fir tried to lie right under the damn fire so we brought his bed out.  A guy in Christchurch makes these awesome corten braziers- I forget his name but you can look him up on TradeMe.  ​

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